October Symptoms

October Link up with A Chronic Voice- prompts Waiting, Parting, Persevering

WAITING

Waiting...for a year now I've been waiting to either feel better or find out why I feel unwell. Around October last year I found out it was my thyroid causing the issues...then a month or so later found out it wasn't. Then in July this year I found it I do have thyroid issues, but then this month found out its not thyroid....

This season of life feels a bit like a dream. Partly because I'm sleepy all the time, no matter how much sleep I get, and partly because things are easier now. 2011-2017 were really stressful years, but over the last year or so at least three big stressors have gone. I keep thinking about school teachers who are so busy during term, then when they have time off end up falling sick. I feel like that's what happening here. Previously I had to put a  lot of effort in to survive, now I need to lie down for many hours a day to survive.

So I haven't been blogging etc very much since early September, instead posting photos everyday on here, its public so you should be able to see them? And also in monthly Facebook albums, as well as noting some sickness stuff in a Facebook group called Katherine's Kronicle.

PARTING

Sometimes life in an expat community is like this:

You go to church and run into a friend you haven't seen since she said goodbye and moved out of Cambodia.

Actually today I saw 2 friends who left years ago and just moved back in recent months ( I knew one from playdates and one from Bible study group).

Also, you see another friend whose time in the country is coming to an end.

Actually today I saw 2 friends who will move back to their respective passport countries next year.

And if those reminders of goodbyes weren't enough there was someone at church wearing a recently departed friend's clothes.

Actually there were at least 2 of us there today who were wearing the departed friend's clothes.

(When people move back to their passport country they usually shed many of their belongings. We have furniture, clothes, books, kitchen stuff, toys etc etc from departed friends.)

Sunday October 20th

PERSEVERING 

Some bits of pieces of my symptom experience this month:

I suddenly feel disorientated. It can happen when I'm in the middle of doing something normal. Its alarming and confusing and its been happening for just over a month. I think it might be because I actually forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Such a bizarre sensation.

In other news it might not be a coincidence that brain fog began about a month after I started on Vitamin D supplements (following doctors orders after a blood test). (October 22)

By the time I noticed it was already too late. I was only standing one pace away from the fry pan yesterday but the food burnt anyway. Perhaps its a memory issue, or perhaps my brain can't process very many things at once these days. I must have been able to smell smoke, but it didn't register because of everything else going on. I think I'm just going to call it brain fog. Its been getting worse over the last couple weeks, so we 're wondering what the next step is for my health. My last check up was 3 months ago and I was given somethings to try, hopefully to help with fatigue but so far it feels like it hasn't helped.

While its been distressing and frustrating for me to not be able to do things like I used to, at least I haven't had to explain it to Soeun. He already knows what its like from his own experience, the onset of his fatigue etc back in 2011. We've done this before (experienced onset of invisible symptoms) second time doing anything is generally easier. And this time we are in a stable stage of life, not hitting all the big stressors like moving house, job, country etc. MUCH less stress! (October 14)

"But that's normal for me."

Earlier this year when a doctor told me I might be anemic and have Hashimoto's, I joined some relevant Facebook groups. Some things that group members called "symptoms' I was familiar with but I had never thought to call a symptom, as they have been part of my life as long as I can remember. Hair fall, bruising easily, feeling dizzy and seeing black when standing up to name a few. (October 24)

Thanks for reading, hopefully it made some sense. Since early September I have been burning food, dropping things (including my phone, which broke and cost a lot to fix) and spending a lot of time lying down doing nothing, to recover to prep for the essentials. Due to conflicting medical advice I'm not sure what is next.

Photo credit: Facebook, I couldn't find where exactly it was from though, must have been a chronic illness page I follow, get in touch if its yours.

What does a successful day look like?

“Well, that was a successful day,” I thought to myself as the kids and I headed home in a tuk tuk. 

At 5pm in Cambodia the sun is already setting. With the spectacular rainy season clouds and the tall palm trees there is enough to distract me from all the motorbikes that are zooming and weaving around us. 

My big achievement for the day had been lying down for 2.5 hours. 

Yes, congratulations to me for resting from 12.30 until 3pm. Having time to do that meant that I had a bit more energy and concentration for the one hour visit with friends in the late afternoon. 

Although my iron levels are in normal range now I feel like my brain fog is getting worse, it is so frustrating trying to interact with people when take so long to think. Hence, a long nap time to ensure I was feeling well enough to take the kids out.

It is one year since I started noticing fatigue. And since its my fatigue- iversary as I mentioned here I guess I’ve been noticing these things. I probably would not have called a two and a half hour rest a successful day before I was sick!

Today's Five Minute Friday writing prompt is success.

Photo by twinsfisch on Unsplash

My Fatigue-iversary: The tiredness I've blogged about in the last 12 months

Doctor: Have you had any loss of concentration, brain fog?
Me: Umm, er....what? Do you mean...ummm..like is it...err...ummm...

I've enjoyed using the A Chronic Voice link up to describe/ share/record our health experience and this months prompts fit exactly what I'm thinking about as I mark one year of being tired.

A Chronic Voice Link up for September -Prompts this month include: recounting, finding and researching

Finding out why and researching the next step

So my iron, Vit D and B12 were all low, so that could be the cause of fatigue and the first next step for remedying  that is supplements. My thyroid function is within normal range but some other tests showed high antibodies. Thyroids are tricky and researching the next step is probably going to be confusing. At first my doctor mentioned gluten free dairy free, even AIP, but then after another round of tests said I didn't need to try those diets.

Within days of finding out I have high antibodies I heard from a few people who have Hashimoto's. One swears by a gluten free diet, one had never heard of it for Hashi's , another had tried it and said it didn't help her, another sounded like she knew about it but didn't follow it strictly...


Recounting a year of fatigue 

So last October I felt unusually tired. As I mentioned back here  I went for some blood tests and I felt like I'd found out the reasons why and worked out the next step to deal with it. And then over the holiday in November I was still feeling tired so as I mentioned back here I just rested while all the relatives did the cooking, cleaning and looked after the kids.

I think in early December I felt a bit better after I'd been taking iron supplements for a month or so, but in late December I was still feeling frustrated with energy levels as I mentioned in my December  A Chronic Voice link up .

Then I started off the year thinking that eating enough iron would be the way to health as I mentioned in my A Chronic Voice link up for January. 

I was feeling tired in March and April too, but I always do as it is hot season. Everyone is tired and grumpy. So as I mentioned in my A Chronic Voice link up for April it wasn't the time to work out if my ongoing tiredness did have a medical reason.

So I think in May with the cooler weather I felt a bit better, but then in June both the kids needed medical attention and it felt chaotic as I mentioned in A Sandwich of Sickness stories and 4 Surprises in June.

So then in July it was time for a healthcation. I'm not really a fan of travelling but it turned out to be a useful time as I described here. Being away from normal life to focus on health meant I had time to think about my thyroid as I mentioned here.

So here we are in September, almost a year later. I've been taking supplements but no medications, according to doctor's advice.

Thanks for reading! I feel like there was something else I was going to include, but can't remember it at this time, maybe I'll edit later when I think of it. Sorry if it doesn't make sense I can't think clearly...So tired...

Photo Credit: Someone on facebook? I can't remember where I got it from, I did google it but no luck.

I was happy to find out (again) that my thyroid....

Last October I felt tired...so tired. Sleeping didn't help. I had some blood tests. Turned out one of my thyroid tests was abnormally high. My TSH was 9 when it is supposed to be between 0.4 and 4.

I was happy to finally find out that my thyroid was probably cause for fatigue.

So in January I travelled  to see a doctor about it. He did his own blood tests for thyroid function in his more reliable lab (he didn't trust the lab I'd used). It turned out that actually my TSH was only 2.2. In range. So my thyroid was ok. The scan and exam of it gave him no concern.

I was disappointed to find out that my thyroid couldn't be the cause for fatigue. Not that I want to be sick, but I want to know why I was so tired.

But then last month I travelled a bit further to see another doctor. I told her I had though I had a thyroid issues previously but my function was fine. She ended up doing the tests again, and 2 extra that hadn't been available back in Cambodia. So my TSH was still in range but the other 2 tests showed that -yes,  I DO  have a thyroid problem.

I was happy to finally find out (again) that my thyroid was probably the reason for fatigue.

***

This is the simplified 5 min version- thyroids are much more complicated. I just tapped this out in the required five minutes. 

Link up- Five Minute Friday- word prompt for this week AGAIN

Is it a holiday? Is it a conference? No, it's a...

It’s not like any other travel I’d organised before. 

It’s not a mission trip to a host country. 

It’s not a visit to a passport country. 

It’s not a holiday. 

It’s not a conference. 

It’s not going away for study.

It's a tailor-made international health trip.

Emails flying between 3 countries. Collecting the correct documents for medical matters and crossing international borders. Trying to write a budget with 3 or 4 different currencies. Scheduling doctor's appointments not knowing how long it would take to get there from my accommodation, or how I would do that with no local language or knowledge or sense of direction. Trying to choose the cheaper flights that also matched up with when counsellors and guesthouse beds would be available...   

It felt like such a hassle to have to organise it, and it was annoying that we would all need to put our lives on hold for the duration. Going away cost so much money and I needed many people’s help to make it happen. If only I didn’t live somewhere without these services, there would be no need for a trip like this. I could just slot it into our normal everyday activities.

These were my thoughts as I prepared to have our babies overseas, and more recently as I got ready for two weeks of counselling and medical appointments in a country we have no connections to.  I resented having to travel for fairly run-of-the-mill health events. 

So what was this trip like?

It was a little like a holiday, in that I was in a relaxing environment away from normal life. 

And a little like a conference in that I learnt a lot of exciting things that I’m eager to take back to my real life. 

I was in a country that was neither my passport country nor host country. Daily activities included catching taxis from my accommodation to meetings. They weren’t big group meeting though, rather individual counselling sessions or doctor’s appointments. It was great to finally be able to investigate the mental and physical health issues I had been trying to work on over the last six months.

And the accommodation wasn’t just a place to sleep. It’s a little like a guesthouse, but specifically for cross-cultural workers. People often stay and rest when they visit the town for a holiday, health care, between conferences and while in transition between countries. 

This means I was instantly part of a community of others who have similar (but very different) life experiences and who are also there for counselling, or having babies and a variety of other reasons. Joining feels so easy and enjoyable; it makes the whole experience of a health trip even more valuable. I don’t know how to describe just how amazing it is to be briefly immersed in relationships that start and end quickly but with a connection that feels so unique and deep.

And it means it felt slightly reminiscent of living on Bible college campus, each family or individual has their own place to sleep but we all eat together. Perfect balance of personal space and community life. The big difference being that instead of classes to attend there is a pool, gardens and playgrounds. Other differences are that people often arrive and depart via the international airport, and stays are usually measured in weeks rather than years. 

It also means that I could really focus on my health as food and laundry is all taken care of onsite. Counselling and getting blood tests results back is exhausting, so I didn’t have energy for much else.  The only “housework” I needed to do while there was collect drinking water from the dining room, and drop my clothes off at the laundry.

Being away from both my passport and host country meant that I was free from any distractions and obligations. I could use all my brain space and energy on the specific things I needed help with.  Instead of resenting that I had to travel for health care, I’m actually really glad now. It worked really well. I feel like it was more helpful doing it like this than doing things from home, slotted in around normal life.

I remember the same feeling when we were away to have our first baby. It had been so hard to get there, and I was annoyed I couldn’t just do things from home like pregnant friends in my passport country. But when we were there, it felt so beneficial to have that family time away while going through such a big transition.

Yes, it was expensive, time consuming, and I needed a lot of help to make it happen; especially from my poor husband who basically had to put things on hold for a couple of weeks. But it turned out to be really effective in the ways we were hoping, as well as enjoyable. In fact so enjoyable I almost didn't want to come home!  It's a strange thing to have such meaningful memories in a country we aren't connected to in any other way. 

My clean laundry waiting for me! Boring photo but exciting moment.

I was excited to see Velvet Ashes this week is all about TRAVEL. I wanted some way to remember this whole experience of a two week counselling intensive while staying in a missionary retreat, so this blog post is what I came up with. 

I enjoyed being driven around by drivers who know where to go, on smooth roads, in closed vehicles with suspension. 

Photo by Owen Beard on Unsplash

Hot Season, Homeschool and Holidays {A Chronic Voice linkup}

The last few months I've been enjoying A Chronic Voice linkups. Chronic illness bloggers use Sheryl's 5 word prompts and write a post for the month. You can see the other April ones here.

Its Khmer New Year here in Cambodia! And hot season season- with humid weather and power cuts just to make sure we get the most out of the season.

Prompts this month: Tiring, Educating, Giving, Receiving, Quieting

A Khmer New Year powder fight a few years ago.

Tiring- hot season and health

Now is not the time of year to work out if the fatigue is a medical problem, everyone is so tired and hot and grumpy, I was definitely sick throughout cool season and I’m pretty sure there is still something different now, but I will wait until this hot humid weather is over to think about it.

Do less. Drink more water. My hot season motto.

Educating- Homeschooling our kids

I was surprised to learn that kindergarten kids only need to do a really short amount of school work each day/week.  A few years ago I met with an educator and mother to ask her about homeschooling and I think she said something like just maybe 20 min in the morning, and just maths and reading/writing were important at that age.

When I was 6 I was spending the whole day at school so I think I assumed that homeschooling would be school at home, and would take maybe 5 or 6 hours a day. And maybe it does when they are older, but for early primary school just a bit of the 3 Rs is most important. The rest of the time they play, we read to them, they make things, they help cook and clean, they watch things on YouTube- sometimes just for fun, sometimes to answer all their science questions.

Being a homeschool family is more of a lifestyle or mindset for us at this stage, there is some testing we can access but it doesn’t start until the child is 8 years old. It’s cheaper than school for us here in Cambodia which was the impetus. Happily it also gives us flexibility to spend more time together as a family, which counters the disruptive unpredictable flares of chronic illness.  

Giving and Receiving- Personal holidays

Soeun and I give each other days or time off from the kids. As much as we love them and like spending time together we need time to ourselves too.

Giving Soeun time off could look like keeping the kid occupied at the front of the house, while he is in his office at the back. Or it could mean taking them out to visit a friend or play at the mall.

Receiving time off sometimes means having rest or read in a room by myself.  Often it means riding my bike into town and reading/writing in a café or even a guesthouse. The fun of living in a tourist town means even though we don’t really have parks or cool weather there are still places I can go to read.

Quieting- a foreign concept in April

Between tired grumpy kids and Khmer New Year celebrations its not within my control to quiet things down. This time of year Cambodia goes crazy. Everyone is travelling, drinking, throwing water and powder, dancing and turning up their music. Even during long hot power cuts the karaoke will not be quieted!

3 things I learnt in 2018 {A Chronic Voice Linkup}

If I had a magic wand to make suffocated emotions, plastic waste and tiredness disappear I wouldn’t be writing this post.

On pondering 2018 with this month’s A Chronic Voice link up prompts I noticed 3 things I learnt that caused to me consider some new habits. It turns out all 3 of them involve toxins/nutrients cycling though a system.  So here they are:  In 2018 I learnt about the importance of Establishing,Breaking and Allowing. 

Establishing good eating habits

Disruptions to our family life came in the form of my fatigue and other symptoms. Over the last few months life for my chronically ill husband was forced even slower. Unconfirmed, but likely due to anaemia from me not absorbing enough iron. (At this point I can hear everyone getting ready to tell me to eat leafy greens and make sure I have Vit C with that.)

Although this isn’t new information for me, the importance of it was driven home last year, something so simple and obvious.  If I want to have energy to support my husband and look after our energetic, curious children I need to get the right nutrition. 

Breaking up with plastic

We have no garbage truck to whisk away our bread bags and milk cartons since we moved out of town. All our rubbish stays with us in one form or other.  If we can’t compost it, or send it out to be recycled we either burn it (breathing in the smoke), or bury it (so it becomes part of the soil that gives us our water and food). 

Horrifying! Is this a mini version of what’s happening on the whole planet? All the rubbish/trash has to go somewhere.

My parents were upcycling before the word was invented, so thinking about the environment and waste is not new. But if my yard and house are filling up with coffee packets and shampoo bottles I’m going to need to pay more attention to moving towards zero waste.

Allowing Emotions

A familiar sight caused me to double take while scrolling Facebook. It was a picture of the emotion chart my counsellor gave me that I didn’t know I needed.

Under it was written: “The 'Emotion Chart' My Therapist Gave Me That I Didn't Know I Needed”

The colour coded wheel starts with general emotions in the centre and fans out into more specific ones (see photo, credit unknown). It helps identify what you are feeling.

A long time ago in a country far, far away my husband was sick.  His illness was debilitating over a period of two years, but still mostly invisible to doctors and others. Soeun’s health is manageable now. That was a stressful season of life but we have been out of crisis for more than six years. We’re glad it’s over!

 Or is it?

Invisible emotions can spring from invisible illnesses. So much loss and grief at the time, but it wasn’t allowed or acknowledged.

The ubiquitous yard stick of health problems kept appearing “At least he doesn’t have cancer”.

Papering over the pain with thankfulness helped me get through each day.

When I tried to explain what was happening people reacted as if I had a paper cut on my finger when really it felt like my finger had been hacked off by a blunt axe.

It actually felt like my husband was gone and I didn’t know if he was ever coming back. (I’ve since been told losing a spouse is one of the most stressful life events.) But that was too huge to feel and also felt silly to say out loud as the doctors said he was fine, all his tests were normal.  And the doctor I went to see about my mental health also said I would be fine in a few months. Plus, Soeun was the one in pain, why was I complaining?

On the surface Soeun was just dizzy, and mostly without a diagnosis, medical tests ruled out all the diseases he didn’t have. And he’s pretty much fine now. So what’s the problem? When I’m explaining the circumstances I feel like there is no problem.

This is what I see out my window. Even in "winter".

Using the emotions chart revealed something unexpected. It was like the shock of opening the curtains and seeing the palm trees in tropical Cambodia covered in cold snow. When the counsellor asked me to check off which emotions I felt during that season it revealed huge losses and grief!  

Unseen losses mean they might be unexpressed for years and may need to be unravelled somewhere down the track.

Or as Sarah Schuster on The Mighty put it:

“Because of course, feelings you don’t feel don’t simply go away. They don’t seep into the ground never to return again. In fact, it’s more like the water cycle. Whatever the earth absorbs eventually comes back as rain. Except in this version of the water cycle, the more water that goes unused and unprocessed, the bigger the storm. Water you ignore comes back with fury, demanding your attention, raining big, angry drops on your head.”

So I don't have a magic wand to deal with the tiredness, trash and tears but potentially I could turn these into new year resolutions. I'm not willing to make such a commitment on the internet though, but it will be interesting to ready this again next January.   

******

Another article and video also helped me to keep thinking through "Allowing Emotions". Have a read & watch. It makes so much sense and was so eye opening for me.

The mistake I made with my grieving friend  on Huff Post.

And this video from Refuge in Grief , Megan Devine:

An Aus-Khmer Advent with chronic illness {A Chronic Voice Linkup}

Happy Birthday Jesus.  

“Articulating lifelong illness”. 

When I saw this tagline of A Chronic Voice blog I was excited.  If only I had something like this to read years ago when my husband’s illness was new and debilitating, perhaps things would have been less overwhelming.  Invisible challenges choked us that season, so to have them expressed feels like Ventolin for an asthmatic.   

The 5 link up prompts for this month seem like a great way to record our family’s lead up to Christmas this year. De-stressing, Savouring,Simplifying, Resting and Finalising.

De-stressing

Most of 2018 was one big de-stress for me! A “normal” year in my adult life usually involves either:  giving birth, having to travel overseas or moving house. Those events suck up all my emotional energy.   But this year was free of big transitions. I had time and energy for other things.

Having said that, the last few months both my husband and I have been unwell-ish. His chronic vestibular symptoms are always likely to flare up during stormy season so his sickness didn't take us by surprise. But we weren’t expecting me to also be fatigued. I  found myself tired in September, no matter how much sleep I got and how well I tried to balance bike riding and vegetable eating. I’ve had some tests and will have some more soon (anemia? thyroid?).

So we started December on low energy and not knowing if we would be feeling better soon or not. Knowing that meant we didn’t have expectations of doing too much.

Savouring

Although my husband Soeun has been sick recently we are savouring that is stress free compared when it was new. It was like a dizzy monster had invaded our lives as I wrote about here.  Now we know what it is and know what we can and can’t do about it.  It’s horrible to see him in pain, and so frustrating for him but no longer debilitating and unknown.

My first few Christmases overseas it felt so wrong that December 25^th  was just a normal day in Asia. After growing up in Australia where Christmas is a public holiday I found it hard to get my head around seeing kids go to school and banks open as usual. And once I was even expected to work on Christmas day. Luckily I got dengue fever so ended up staying away from work. Phew!

Christmas in Asia was weird before, but now feels freeing.  Celebrations can take on a life of their own in Western cultures, and people can end up spending too much, eating too much and being too busy. In my situation I have the luxury of choosing which bits of an Aussie December I want to enjoy and teach my family about (I’m the only one with an Australian childhood behind me). We can leave behind bits that would cost too much in terms of money or energy.

I think parents always have the tendency to want their kids to have certain things from their own childhood, I feel like I see that a lot at Christmas with expat parents. And its great to carry on some family traditions but I'm also mindful of the fact that our cross cultural kids are having a totally different childhood to us. We're savouring the chance to create new family culture rather than striving to replicate everything from our own. 

Instant Advent inherited from expats 

Simplifying

With limited energy between us, and no pressure to decorate our house, exchange gifts, or whatever other things people do in the West, we ended up just reading about the birth of Jesus from the Bible and from Bible story books. I was thinking about making an advent calendar and/or reading plan, but in the end I just grabbed a Bible one night and we ended up reading bits and pieces from the gospels. We had no plan, so there was no such thing as missing a night and then having to catch up.

We didn’t make the toilet roll tree like we did the last 3 years, even though we had everything to do it. But we did watch our Veggie tales DVD and listen to Colin Buchanan (both inherited from Aussie missionary families who left).

A small plastic tree (also inherited) did end up going up a few days before Christmas, unlike last year. Although we never did find that bag of tinsel or make those paper chains.

The kids were excited on Christmas morning when they saw a box of “new” toys waiting for them. We didn’t buy or wrap any presents but, again, thanks to expat families who have since left town we have so many kids books and toys. We only have some out and any one time, and the others packed away. Every few months we rotate, and each time it’s a bit like Christmas. And this time it was actually Christmas.

Resting

In November there was a day when I used up all my energy and then frustratingly it took me a few days to recover. Even though by that stage I had noticed I was fatigued it still took me by surprise.  So resting was a high priority during advent, even though I’m pretty sure I’m feeling a bit better.  I couldn’t afford to run out of energy with the possibly of my co-parent also fatigued, dizzy and in pain.

Finalising 

By the time December 24^th arrived I felt we had completed all the big Christmas things, and we were ready to just stay home, eat easy to prep food and relax.

Our Cambodian church celebrated Christmas on December 9^th with a huge loud colourful church service, complete with a banquet afterwards. Dances, songs, a nativity play and lots of decorations made it a big event.  In Australia church services are held on December 25^th but it isn’t a holiday here so each church decides which Sunday to have their Christmas on.  It was strange for me to be at church on December 23^rd and see that Christmas was over.  All the Christmas decorations including the tree had been taken down already, although it was not yet Christmas Eve.  

Thanks to American friends we decorated “cookies” with others. I kind of wished I had energy to bake, but I was happy we could join friends for festivities. 

We gathered with other English speakers on December 16th to sing carols and look at what was said about Jesus before he was born (Isaiah chapter 9). I was glad we could enjoy an Advent meeting even though we missed the Christmas service. (Expats had Christmas on 23rd but we were at Khmer church.)

So when December 25th arrived we were breathing easily, perhaps similar to the post-Ventolin feeling of an asthmatic.  It wouldn’t matter if either or both of us were a bit unwell on Christmas day as we didn’t have any commitments and the children would be happy to play (with "new" toys) and eat at home.  Staying home with just the four of us and some food is basically our favourite holiday. It was a relief to do it and I think we all enjoyed the day. 

  

Silent, settle, still {fmf}

The silt has sunk.

Hi Friend,

Thanks for your post last week about the jar of river water. Thinking about muddy water settling, and leaving the top bit clear is a vivid way to think about chaos in our minds and meditation.

I've been trying to do a lot of different things recently, all at the same time. I'm not particularity busy, it might just be that I have more energy than recent months. The iron rich diet is doing its work, feels like my fatigue was indeed from anemia. I'm ready to start doing ALL THE THINGS again- right now! I feel like I have too many browser tabs open in my brain.

I was reading Subversive Jesus by Craig Greenfield earlier this week, and he also mentioned a jar of river water. It looks murky but if you let it settle it becomes clear. The sediment sinks to the bottom. He quoted someone else who talked about contemplation as a way to confront the toxicity in our lives.

Two jars of muddy river water within days of each other! I really do need to work on closing some of the tabs in my brain! We read a Psalm each week, this week is Psalm 42, so I'm trying to think about that more, and think about others things less.

I just checked Five Minute Friday word prompt for the week. "Still"! 

I was thinking I would try to write and link up at some stage, but feeling like I should just be reading and listening these days, before I start writing and doing things. So I'm not really planning on  writing this week. Probably better to just do essential things and pay more attention to my kids. I might start writing and linking up next year, after I've spent some time being still.

Thanks again for your words,
Katherine

Water Festival, Fatigue, Family and Fire {Time Capsule}

A cold rainy day, the last drops of rainy season are falling!

The kids are busy building rockets and reading new-to-us-again books. We stored some kids books in a packing box for the last few months, opening it again this week felt so exciting.

So glad they can keep themselves entertained a bit more independently. I've been feeling so tired last few months (and I think there is a medical reason). Last week we had relatives staying and they did all the cooking and kids stuff so I just rested, mostly even too tired to read.

While family were here Soeun made a bonfire in the yard and the kids enjoyed cooking bread on sticks.

We totally missed all the boat race festivities in town, but we did have a couple of homeschooling families over one morning.

Expanding in October {Time Capsule}

It feels like everything got bigger in October. Well, by everything I mean the town and our health issues.

The town is expanding out to us. A few weeks ago the electricity company installed these huge concrete poles on one side of our street. They totally dwarf the homemade wooden sticks we have been using to hold up our cables.  Sorry no person or moto for scale but in the centre of the photo you can see a pole almost as tall as the palm, while on the right you can see our maybe three metre toothpick holding the wires.

Also our pin on google recently changed from 'unnamed road' to a string of letters and numbers! Exciting times. I have no idea what they are referring to though.

The kids had some one off days of fever, tummy upset etc etc, and I also was feeling really tired from late September. No matter how much I slept and tired everything, still exhausted. So last week I had some blood tests and turns out there are at least 2 reasons for that. Both treatable, seems straight forward, although for one I will need to travel out of town to find a doctor.