Hot
season is over and the rains are here.
They say it never rains but it pours, and we recently had a week that
felt like everything thing happened. Let’s
call it our Sick Week.
In
the beginning...
How does
a biracial family access health care? The lack of trustworthy medical care in
Cambodia was terrifying when I first arrived back in 2006. I was told there was one specific clinic I
could go to if I got sick. Seeing a doctor cost about a month’s worth of rent.
That was the information given to foreigners at the time. There was no way the
average local could afford that. There were other clinics for them.
If I was
going to marry a Cambodian and look after our babies here, how was that going
to work? And what of our extended family? Those were my thoughts about 13 years
ago, and I had cause to reflect on them this month during our Sick Week.
It felt ordinary like bread on the first and
final days; while the central day was more intense, like meat seasoned for a
sandwich filling.
Wondering why he was contradicting
himself
First Day of Sick Week
“Your
son has chicken pox, he will be contagious for 7 days.”
“So I
should keep him home from play dates and parties?”
“No, no
need.”
“But
those spots are from chicken pox? Is he contagious?”
“Yes”
“So I
might not take him to visit friends this afternoon.”
“No need
to stay home.”
I was
wondering why the doctor was contradicting himself, when he was usually so
helpful.
Four years
of respect and trust for him was the only thing that prevented me from getting
angry and leaving in frustration. We tried to communicate about this but I was
just left wondering.
My brain repeating that emotion from
years ago
Central Day of Sick Week
My fear response was taking over my logic. I was at the medical clinic with my son and
his scary looking infection. Over 7 years ago I felt like my husband was moments from death and that feeling keeps
getting replayed. When it is triggered by things such as seeing family members
in pain it doesn’t matter that I know things are probably OK, my brain tricks
me into re-living that old emotion.
Spookily (but in a comforting kind of way) I
happened to be reading about trauma as I sat in the waiting room with my son.
It was as if Someone was with me, explaining what was going on. A woman called
Marsha has her brain scanned while she re-lives her trauma. The Body Keeps the Score (chapter 3) explains what happens in her brain. It was similar to what my
counsellor had explained to me about my own brain only in more detail.
It wasn’t only my 8 year old emotion that was
being repeated.
Last July I was at the medical clinic with my
husband and his scary abdominal pain.
Over 6 years ago I felt like my husband was moments from death and that
feeling keeps getting replayed. When it is triggered by things such as seeing
family members in pain it doesn’t matter that I know things are probably OK, my
brain tricks me into re-living that old emotion.
Spookily (but in a comforting kind of way) I
happened to be reading about trauma as I sat in the waiting room with my
husband. It was as if Someone was with me, explaining what was going on. A
friend had just messaged me a link to this blog post about trauma. It was
similar to what my counsellor had explained to me about my own brain only in
more detail.
Getting the post
exposure rabies shots
Final Day of our Sick Week
“Whaaa!”
Our
daughter came in crying. She was
bleeding from a dog bite. I’d seen other expat friends rush to get the rabies
post exposure shot so I knew that’s what we needed to do. Even though there was
a really small chance she was infected, it was such a serious thing. I began
urgently asking on Facebook which clinics in town had the vaccines in stock.
Soeun
drove our daughter straight to a clinic and got her first of five shots done.
Phew! I breathed a sigh of relief and so did the friends on Facebook.
In
sharp contrast, a local woman in the waiting room told Soeun he was being
ridiculous. He was advised by his fellow Khmer that washing the wound was all
you need to do. The shots are just so the doctors can make money. I guess she
hadn’t seen all my expat friends running to the doctor, but I’m sure she’s seen
people getting bitten.
Conclusion
You
can experience the exotic by eating in a Chinese restaurant or watching an
Indian movie. Relying on doctors in Asia for my children’s health has given me another
way to gain insight.
War
is part of this country’s recent history so I’d read about post trauma issues
before I came to Cambodia; but having a personal taste of it feels like the beginning
of a different level of understanding.
Hopefully
I’ve been able to share some of that insight and understanding with you here. Stories like the chicken
pox and rabies shots are our usual way, using the Khmer doctors’ expertise but
sometimes in a different way to their other patients. Whereas the central story
of re-living emotions feel like the start of something new.
