Good Hot Friday

You know it is a hot day when the tap water is still hot at 5pm and the internet says it feels like 41°. Yes, feels over 40° at 5pm.

On the kitchen floor this morning we had communion after looking at some colouring in sheets of the Passover and reading bits of Exodus and Luke. 

Much less stress ( in terms of prep, travel, kids ) and much more engagment (all ages, both languages) than we experience with a big formal church service.

4 surprises in June

"Give him 4.5ml once a day."

I couldn't understand what the nurse was telling me, although I knew I should be able to, and I knew it was important. My son had a scary looking infection, with a weird red line growing out of it. Why couldn't I understand the instructions? And what would happen to my son if he didn't take the antibiotics correctly? What if his blood got infected?

It felt like there wasn't much action in the logical part of my brain, the fear response was taking over. My brain was tricking me into reliving the emotion I had when my husband was sick. Even though it was more than seven years ago it felt like it just happening in the present. The counsellor had explained it to me almost 12 months before, and the book I happened to be reading in the waiting room explained it to me on the spot. ( A Sandwich of Sickness Stories) That's what can happen after a "big T trauma".

I memorised the instructions (still without understanding) and repeated them to Soeun when I got home, and he gave our son the medicine. Part of it was written down in Khmer language but not in full detail.   

Just popped out the front gate to take this while cooking dinner.

Surprise 1
Dealing with my health was more urgent than I had thought! The last few months I have just been dealt with my post trauma stuff mostly by avoiding triggers, like thinking about going to Australia. But right at the start of June both our kids needed medical attention and I realised I wasn't really well enough to take care of them. Seeing a family member in pain can also be a trigger. Now I get why they tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first, before helping others. 

Surprise 2
It was too hard to arrange things for me to get help- that was our position over the last few months. But in the first week of June it switched to- it would be too hard to keep going without getting help. 
The surprise was that when we actually started planning things fell into place. And it will give us a chance to deal with a couple of other things too.

Surprise 3
Back in January we finished up with our Khmer church. We decided for 6 months we would just go to House Church (English speaking). It was nice for me, but weird for Soeun. We didn't have a plan for when the period of time was over, but just at the right time a new church popped up in our commune. Soeun has already been visiting and now it seems like its going to work.

Surprise 4
On the last day of the month Soeun started getting messages from his neighbourhood football team. A farming accident was in progress and ended up being fatal. Such a shock.

So here we are at the start of July, with the mournful music and monk chanting sounds all across the neighbourhood  from around 5 or 6 am. And it seems like mostly our days are filled with errands and admin, which are mostly health related.  Tomorrow is the funeral of the boy who was killed. Also its  our daughters 5th and final post exposure needle from her dog bite last month.  It feels a bit like a full stop of all surprises. Not sure what the next bit will look like! 

I didn't really think through this blog post as much as usual, feels like there is a lot going on and wanted to record it as it happens. Hopefully it made sense!

4 reasons I hate going to church {fmf}

I feel like I never get anything out of it, or put anything into it.
Plus it throws off my kids sleep so we all get extra tired and grumpy on Sundays.
The practical side of taking 2 kids to church is hard.

But while all this is going on- the getting there, and finally being there, but not involved in the main meeting, there is a fourth reason I hate going to church. I'm also dealing with a broken brain. Whenever my husband has to miss church due to his chronic illnesss, my brain tricks me into re-living the feeling I had when he was first sick. It was a long time ago but it was traumatic.

So with all this as the norm, it makes it really hard to get there each Sunday. Why do we do this? What is the point of the practice of going to church if  I can't hear a Bible talk or pray with people? If I'm never going to be able to sign myself up on any rosters? (Our church fellowship is run by others like me, we don't have a pastor.)

With feelings of exhaustion and without answers, but still feeling like I need to be at church (am I just being graceless, legalistic?), Sunday just feels like an insurmountable mountain.

I was particularly overwhelmed this Sunday just gone. It was potluck week. Eating dinner together is such a great practice for a group of Christians. But getting food for myself and 2 little people after playing in the hot sun for two hours? Not so great. The table of food looked inviting, but the people chaos was too much, I stepped out of the line with my 3 plates and 2 kids.

Why hadn't I gone home earlier as planned? I knew this was going to be too hard. The tears that had been trying to escape for the last couple of hours were almost having success.

But then two kind people grabbed a plate each and started getting food for the kids.

Suddenly things felt much easier, and I had an answer to my question. Why do I go to church when I end up exhausted with nothing to show for it?

Community. I'm part of the church.

Maybe for now all I need to be doing is being there.

Turn up and hand the plate over.

(End of 5 minutes.)

This week’s Five Minute Friday writing prompt is: PRACTICE

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I'm sharing my story with you for the same reason as Fruitful Today. 

"My prayer is that your church relationships will be strengthened through this series (of interviews), whether you’re living with an invisible illness, or seeking to better support those in your church family who live with ongoing health conditions." 

"I hope you enjoy these glimpses inside the minds of your chronically ill brothers and sisters in Christ!" 

You can read them here:Interviews about church and invisible illness

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While brutal at the time, the issues with kids feels a bit easier than the chronic illness one for me. Many other people have done it, or a doing it. Plus its a temporary situation. In 5 years time the kids will be 5 years older!  

For more on going to church with kids The Gospel Coalition has this : 5 reasons to keep going to church with baby brain.

Photo by Charles Etoroma on Unsplash

February (and a bit of March): Full of firsts and fun. {Time capsule}

Straight after  I posted the time capsule about New Year- I felt like another new year was starting. While January was full of new things, February was also full of firsts and beginnings.

Dinner prep by Soeun for House Church

First time going to church together 3/2/19
Once a month our  (English language) House Church has a meal together after our Sunday afternoon meeting. The first Sunday in February was our first time to go all together. The kids and I have been going to HC as much as we can for about just over a year now, with Soeun joining us once a year in December. In January we finished up at our Khmer church, so February was the start of our new Sundays. Its a potluck meal and we took a Khmer meat dish Soeun made.

First school-y type home school activities 4/2/19
In the first week of Feb I was greeted by the sight of the magnet letters arranged in order on the fridge. The kids stood proudly beside it to see my reaction.

I was surprised, and also surprised to discover that it was like the starter pistol for our school type work. The kids have been out of preschool since June, just playing and we've been reading to them. I was thinking at some stage to start some letters and numbers with our oldest but it hadn't been time yet.

Suddenly it was time and we set up the small table with their chairs in the home school room. A few mornings a week the older does a little bit of maths or letters, while the younger keeps herself busy with snipping and scribbling.

Coincidentally early Feb is also the start of the Australian school. I hadn't planned that we would necessarily follow the Aus school year.

First warm days and Chinese New Year 5/2/19
That same week CNY, and on that very day the weather suddenly got a bit warmer, after months of cool season. People in China call it Spring Festival, and it feels like a fitting name for it here, much more than it does in north east China where everything is still frozen at that time of year!

First football match with newly formed team 9/2/19
Since December Soeun has spent one afternoon a week with some local boys and a football trainer. This new nameless team had its first match on the second Saturday in Feb. Soeun is still feeling surprised and excited about the team.

First trip to a new community out of town 10-11/02/19
The day after the first football match, Soeun left on his motorbike for his first visit to a new church a couple of hours away. He got there in time for their Sunday afternoon meeting and stayed overnight and spent some time meeting the community the next day. I'm not sure if new church is an accurate description, we are still learning about the situation. He came in contact with them through a church we used to be part of, they sent a pastor to live there and requested Soeun come and help with Bible teaching.

Ready for a long ride to the teaching location

First time teaching How to Study the Bible (again)
In late late Feb, so late it ended up being in March, Soeun spent another couple of nights out of town. He was helping teach a course with others at a location new to him. He loves teaching How to Study the Bible and was excited he got time at the end to help the students practice their new skill, not just regurgitate information for an exam.

First fun for the kids
We dug out a Lego kit we were given ages ago. Our oldest was so excited to play with his own Lego for the first time! And then we bought a second box at a toy shop. He already uses anything and everything to build, so he was more than ready.

Daddy asked them to water the plants...

We read books every day, and we still have a few books that we received back in June that we haven't read yet! In Feb I read them a kids book about the Titanic. It was their first time to hear about it, and our oldest became even more obsessed with boat building than before.

We are also reading other new interesting titles about alligators, Lewis and Clark and Johnny Appleseed. Each of these books needs to be read to them multiple times a day and they branch off into other lines of interest and research. Mostly to do with American history and animals. Like the ground hog, which is also called a Woodchuck. This branched out into learning the tongue twister. So many fun things for kids to learn, so far we have been following their interests and looking things up on Youtube together to learn science and history. 



The kids also happily played in the water for basically the first time. In this tropical tourist town lots of playdates revolve around the swimming pool. Its mostly not that fun for us but hopefully things are changing.

Soeun sent the kids on a treasure hunt one day. They had to read a map he drew and follow it until they found their afternoon snack in a jar! He put it together while they were asleep, they were so surprised. Our oldest had so much fun he responded by making a map for Daddy too. 

Our son's own idea and design: mini beach umbrellas for his toy beach 

One week we had some Khmer friends and relatives staying for a few nights. The kids had so much fun with them while I had some time off to read etc. In their wake then left some lovely potted plants on our front steps, as well as a variety of homemade toys such as a cardboard sword and a pull along vehicle made from a bottle and bottle lids.

Homemade beach

And now I'm posting this when it is already half way through March, hot season has started!! This week is mostly 38. Our water pump seems to be complaining. Really hoping its because its broken and not because of the extra hot and extra dry time we're in. In Aus during a drought the government will put water restrictions in place. Here it seems some people on town water just have their water turned off randomly for long unpredictable stretches. We've been trying to use less the last few weeks, we still have maybe a month and half of official hot season to go though. 

Village life

Lots of bananas in Cambodia, but bathroom cupboards are really a thing. 

Family's house where the Christians meet on Sunday

Photos from language exchange/cooking

I've been trying to write the recipes in English and Khmer and sticking them up on the wall.

Someone died today so I got to sit next to Kimsoeun in church! Usually he is playing the guitar but today we sang a cappella as someone had just died in the house across the road. The whole front of the house was open so we could see the body on the floor covered in a white sheet. They said it was an old sick person. The noisy chanting and stuff had started and people were busy doing all the things they do as soon as someone dies.

The photo above is of the house where the body is. Can you see the white funeral flag and the loud speaker. You always know when someone in your neighbourhood has died.

People made jokes about Thailand when they saw us today. We didn't realise when we left home but as soon as people at church saw us they commented. Can you see why?

I took the camera to church today to take photos to take back to oz, but it is hard to take nice photos in church. It is kind of dark and the walls are glazed white tiles. The darkness means you need a flash, but then the flash makes a bright spot on the white shiny wall. But I did get some photos of people.

For some reason I always feel so tired after church. I sleep for 2-3 hours and then it takes me ages to wake up. Church doesn't even go that long, but maybe from the heat and trying to understand Khmer.

Visit to Preah Vihear Province

We left Phnom Penh at 5am, bright at early on Saturday(11th). No wait- it wasn’t bright yet, it was quite dark.

We spent the next few days with a small group of Christians who Soeun met last month (as mentioned here). Evenings and Sunday morning we spent sitting on the floor of someone’s houses singing and reciting Bible verses. On Sunday morning Soeun preached (although it was a much more informal sermon than he would preach in Phnom Penh).
We also ate most of our meals there as well- my back got pretty tired of sitting on the floor.




For Soeun the trip was a fun time, to see the people again. It was a break for him in between being at places where he has responsibility. We came from Phnom Penh where he works at the Bible school, then afterwards went to visit his family in their province.

For me it was an interesting and exhausting cross cultural experience. Everything was so different.


This type of transport is called a mechanical cow. Can you see why?

On the Monday we went out for the day to visit Koh Ker, I put some photos from that day, which turned out to be quite an adventure over here.
Preah Vihear province

Noise

Wedding marquees are often set up on a road, as I mentioned before. The other Sunday there was one right outside our church! We had to walk through someone's wedding to get to church.

The wedding caters set up their kitchen on the road near by too. The photo below I took from inside church- you can see how close the speakers were to us. So noisy!

More photos from this on Kronicle Clicks (ask me for password).(album 2009-03 church/wedding)