green in the city

Something we like about Sydney is that there are parks, even in the city!

being absent means it feels like he is more present

 Just talked to Soeun on the phone, it was raining heavily so he couldn't talk for long. Today he has been picking fruit and eating it. This huge yellow citrus fruit looks sort of like a grapefruit but tastes different, and the skin is heaps thicker.

Over the last year and half Soeun has been sick most of the time, often feels like he's not really here. He doesn't seem like the person used to know. A friend asked me the other day how I was coping with him being away. He said something like his wife would find it hard if he was away for so long.

I actually feel like I don't cope very well with his absence, but him being in Cambodia actually means he feels more present as he is healthy and can do stuff like laugh, ride motos and he is even preaching tomorrow.

So these weeks while he is away I'm feeling ok, it was the 1.5 years before that when it was hard, when he was really absent.

a wedding

 It was interesting to watch the girls in the bridal party become teary while most of the rest of us just sat there blankly. The speech was in Korean so most of us couldn't understand it until someone read out an English version.

I think all of the weddings we've been invited to this year are between a  white Aussie  and an Asian, mostly some variety of Chinese. So this Aussie/Korean was a bit different! It was also interesting as it was the first wedding to be held in the new church building, so there were some engaged people there taking notes.

Also fun for me, as I got to see lots of old friends. The groom is someone who was in first year uni and at the same church as me so lot of people I used to see back in those days were there, as well as current church friends.

If only Soeun had been here, he would have loved eating the kimchi!

Social interactions, illness, isolation and other frustration

Well the title says it all, and sums up the last year and a half for us. We’ve discovered there are so many ways a chronic illness impacts life.

I've been to the airport so many times in the last 1.5 years, this last time was so foggy!

When we first arrived in Australia and people started inviting us to things, it became to frustrating and disappointing. We would say “yes” to an invitation but on the day Soeun would be sick so I would end up going by myself, or not going at all.

As a few one-offs thats kind of ok, but when it become a general pattern it makes life hard. Not being able to keep commitments, not being able to show people they are important to us by spending time with them.

So it’s easier not to make plans, then we don’t have the disappointment of breaking them. Which means when people invited us to things we are sometimes in a tricky position.

And it’s not just going out, it feel likes it’s in every part of our life. Often Soeun does have good days or weeks which give us a break, but then the disappointment and frustration that comes when it’s over feels worse each time.

Recently we have been trying some different things to cope with it. A few people have wanted to meet us and talk to us, so we invited them to meet us on at the Bible school we live at. That meant whether Soeun was sick of not I would get to see them, Soeun had freedom on the day to stay inside the whole time or part of the time depending on his health.

If you look carefully you might be able to see Soeun

 Once he was ok on the day, another time he was too sick to come out at all, another time he just came out for a bit.

But the frustrations and disappointments seem to be running our life to the point of it feeling like its not productive to keep going with what we are doing, so time to make some changes!

We are sad about all the things we’ve missed but happy to be making new plans.

eek, no internet

Early morning fog last week

 Until this year I wasn't used to using internet at home- but now I'm so used to it a week without it feels like a long time. I use it to contact family, friends and need it for work, so finding it hard not having a connection at home. In Cambodia I had to ride 20 min on my bike to get to an internet cafe, I had a note book to keep track of the jobs I needed to get done while there, and my memory stick load with the things I need to upload, and space for the emails and things I would be downloading to read at home.

The FOCUS group I'm part of recently had a lunch to welcome new international students!