WAITING
Waiting...for a year now I've been waiting to either feel better or find out why I feel unwell. Around October last year I found out it was my thyroid causing the issues...then a month or so later found out it wasn't. Then in July this year I found it I do have thyroid issues, but then this month found out its not thyroid....
This season of life feels a bit like a dream. Partly because I'm sleepy all the time, no matter how much sleep I get, and partly because things are easier now. 2011-2017 were really stressful years, but over the last year or so at least three big stressors have gone. I keep thinking about school teachers who are so busy during term, then when they have time off end up falling sick. I feel like that's what happening here. Previously I had to put a lot of effort in to survive, now I need to lie down for many hours a day to survive.
So I haven't been blogging etc very much since early September, instead posting photos everyday on here, its public so you should be able to see them? And also in monthly Facebook albums, as well as noting some sickness stuff in a Facebook group called Katherine's Kronicle.
PARTING
Sometimes life in an expat community is like this:
You go to church and run into a friend you haven't seen since she said goodbye and moved out of Cambodia.
Actually today I saw 2 friends who left years ago and just moved back in recent months ( I knew one from playdates and one from Bible study group).
Also, you see another friend whose time in the country is coming to an end.
Actually today I saw 2 friends who will move back to their respective passport countries next year.
And if those reminders of goodbyes weren't enough there was someone at church wearing a recently departed friend's clothes.
Actually there were at least 2 of us there today who were wearing the departed friend's clothes.
(When people move back to their passport country they usually shed many of their belongings. We have furniture, clothes, books, kitchen stuff, toys etc etc from departed friends.)
Sunday October 20th
PERSEVERING
Some bits of pieces of my symptom experience this month:
I suddenly feel disorientated. It can happen when I'm in the middle of doing something normal. Its alarming and confusing and its been happening for just over a month. I think it might be because I actually forget what I'm doing while I'm doing it. Such a bizarre sensation.
In other news it might not be a coincidence that brain fog began about a month after I started on Vitamin D supplements (following doctors orders after a blood test). (October 22)
By the time I noticed it was already too late. I was only standing one pace away from the fry pan yesterday but the food burnt anyway. Perhaps its a memory issue, or perhaps my brain can't process very many things at once these days. I must have been able to smell smoke, but it didn't register because of everything else going on. I think I'm just going to call it brain fog. Its been getting worse over the last couple weeks, so we 're wondering what the next step is for my health. My last check up was 3 months ago and I was given somethings to try, hopefully to help with fatigue but so far it feels like it hasn't helped.
While its been distressing and frustrating for me to not be able to do things like I used to, at least I haven't had to explain it to Soeun. He already knows what its like from his own experience, the onset of his fatigue etc back in 2011. We've done this before (experienced onset of invisible symptoms) second time doing anything is generally easier. And this time we are in a stable stage of life, not hitting all the big stressors like moving house, job, country etc. MUCH less stress! (October 14)
"But that's normal for me."
Earlier this year when a doctor told me I might be anemic and have Hashimoto's, I joined some relevant Facebook groups. Some things that group members called "symptoms' I was familiar with but I had never thought to call a symptom, as they have been part of my life as long as I can remember. Hair fall, bruising easily, feeling dizzy and seeing black when standing up to name a few. (October 24)
Thanks for reading, hopefully it made some sense. Since early September I have been burning food, dropping things (including my phone, which broke and cost a lot to fix) and spending a lot of time lying down doing nothing, to recover to prep for the essentials. Due to conflicting medical advice I'm not sure what is next.
Photo credit: Facebook, I couldn't find where exactly it was from though, must have been a chronic illness page I follow, get in touch if its yours.
