About 14 years ago I was walking along the street and people kept bumping into me. It was so annoying. The others on the short term team and similar experiences if my memory serves me correctly. I felt like everyone in the whole country we were visiting was being rude.
A long termer nodded knowingly when we shared our frustration. They explained that as we were from Australia, where people drive on the other side of the road, we also subconsciously walk on the other side of the road too. So all the people in our host country thought we were the ones being rude?!
I try to remember this experience when I'm feeling frustrated with things in Cambodia. Sometimes it seems people are being so rude, or various other negative things that make life hard. But I keep trying to tell myself maybe they see me as rude or lacking common sense/doing something weird/doing things the wrong way/wearing weird looking clothes/ liking ugly furniture/ thinking good things are bad/ putting value on what I see as worthless etc etc.
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Sundays this year
People often ask us what its like to be in a cross cultural marriage, and mostly its hard to come up with an answer. Its just our normal. The air we breath. But maybe church is one interesting thing of note. I wrote a newsletter on this a few months ago but not sent yet.
Soeun is a Khmer church leader, so Sundays are a big day for him, and of course he should have his family being part of the church as well. So he is really involved, preaching, music etc while for me it mostly doesn't feel like a spiritual or even social thing, but a language and culture experience. And it means I have less time and energy to go to an English language church. And even if I do its not a family thing, its just for me. So each new place we live we have to figure out how to do it. Some years in Phnom Penh it was working when I went to a Tuesday morning English womens group and we went to church on Sunday morning together, and I sometimes made it to an English language church in the afternoon. Over the years we've tried a few other combos that haven't worked as well.
So this year..
For a few months Soeun was sort of going to both the morning and afternoon service, earlier in the year when we had just moved here. I was going to the English language church in the afternoon, I visited the morning Khmer one a few times.
Once we got back from the having-baby-in Aus trip Soeun had worked out that he would be mainly serving at the afternoon service, so now we all go there as a family. Ive started going to the English language womens Bible study during the week, sans toddler.
Soeun is a Khmer church leader, so Sundays are a big day for him, and of course he should have his family being part of the church as well. So he is really involved, preaching, music etc while for me it mostly doesn't feel like a spiritual or even social thing, but a language and culture experience. And it means I have less time and energy to go to an English language church. And even if I do its not a family thing, its just for me. So each new place we live we have to figure out how to do it. Some years in Phnom Penh it was working when I went to a Tuesday morning English womens group and we went to church on Sunday morning together, and I sometimes made it to an English language church in the afternoon. Over the years we've tried a few other combos that haven't worked as well.
So this year..
For a few months Soeun was sort of going to both the morning and afternoon service, earlier in the year when we had just moved here. I was going to the English language church in the afternoon, I visited the morning Khmer one a few times.
Once we got back from the having-baby-in Aus trip Soeun had worked out that he would be mainly serving at the afternoon service, so now we all go there as a family. Ive started going to the English language womens Bible study during the week, sans toddler.
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
chronic sickness management
I joined some facebook groups recently for people with vestibular disorders. Its been really helpful to find others with similar struggles- perhaps our time in Aus would have been easier if we had known others then (maybe not, we might only be ready for this now).
Most have had their lives changed dramatically- they can't work full time anymore, or sometimes at all, they can't look after their kids, they can't drive. Its only diagnosed after eliminating other things, and by the pattern of symptoms so it usually takes months to work out what you have before you can even think about how to manage it. By that time its already taken a big toll on your mental health, social life, work life etc.
And from reading what other write it seems some people have worked out their triggers, but for many it seems so random. Sometimes cheese sets it off, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the attacks come out of no where, often the buzzing and ear pressure is just always there and you have to try to live with it.
The diagnoses from a sydney doc was "vestibular migraine", but if I use that term people often assume its a headache thing (and there is a headache involved actually, but its more an ear thing).
Members discuss things like whether its useful to go to the ER at hospital if things become acute. Theres not much they can do for most ppl , and it seems many doctors aren't really aware of these disorders anyway.
People often have trouble explaining it to their family and friends, its probably the same for any invisible chronic illness (or many others things). Family often think members are making it up, or get frustrated when sufferers keep not showing up to things. They get blamed for being unreliable and/ or lazy.
It seems like there are lots of different drugs people are trying.
Thankfully SOeun's symptoms are much less debilitating in Cambodia, so he can do many things here and live almost normally. It s hard when he is a bit sick though, it becomes a bigger problems than pre march 2011. Life is still frustrating but not as bad as when in Aus.
Just a short plane ride away is Bangkok, full of doctors and hospitals. Maybe we should start seeing a doctor there to help with management or maybe that would be a waste of time and money? Its hard to know.
Most have had their lives changed dramatically- they can't work full time anymore, or sometimes at all, they can't look after their kids, they can't drive. Its only diagnosed after eliminating other things, and by the pattern of symptoms so it usually takes months to work out what you have before you can even think about how to manage it. By that time its already taken a big toll on your mental health, social life, work life etc.
And from reading what other write it seems some people have worked out their triggers, but for many it seems so random. Sometimes cheese sets it off, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes the attacks come out of no where, often the buzzing and ear pressure is just always there and you have to try to live with it.
The diagnoses from a sydney doc was "vestibular migraine", but if I use that term people often assume its a headache thing (and there is a headache involved actually, but its more an ear thing).
Members discuss things like whether its useful to go to the ER at hospital if things become acute. Theres not much they can do for most ppl , and it seems many doctors aren't really aware of these disorders anyway.
People often have trouble explaining it to their family and friends, its probably the same for any invisible chronic illness (or many others things). Family often think members are making it up, or get frustrated when sufferers keep not showing up to things. They get blamed for being unreliable and/ or lazy.
It seems like there are lots of different drugs people are trying.
Thankfully SOeun's symptoms are much less debilitating in Cambodia, so he can do many things here and live almost normally. It s hard when he is a bit sick though, it becomes a bigger problems than pre march 2011. Life is still frustrating but not as bad as when in Aus.
Just a short plane ride away is Bangkok, full of doctors and hospitals. Maybe we should start seeing a doctor there to help with management or maybe that would be a waste of time and money? Its hard to know.
Tuesday, December 08, 2015
Carrying stuff around...
6 kg of red meat
10kg of wholemeal wheat flour
a solar panel
at least 2 kg of honey
some breakfast cereal that was on special in Aus when I was packing, it cost $2, i saw the same thing for 5USD in the supermarket in Cambodia
a loaf of saltana bread
a Christmas cake (homemade)
a bike helmet
Ironically this last trip back from Australia I actually had baggage weight to spare! It felt a bit wasteful and frustrating in some ways, given that other times I'd made the trip I'd had to get rid of so much. But it was fun to bring back some treats and useful things that are harder/more expensive to find here.
At the end of 2012 we moved back to Cambodia after 2 years in Australia. It was hard getting 2 years of life back down to 20kg. Sad to leave behind the new bed sheets we had, and pretty much all of my clothes as I was pregnant so they were going to be any use anytime soon.
It had to be 20 kg not only for the place ride back but for all the travelling in Aus on public transport I was doing before I actually got to the plane. My pregnant self had to be able to carry everything between stops and stations and on and off vehicles.
I think I stayed in at least 3 different towns before and caught quite a few buses, planes and trains before I hauled my bag to the international airport. Somehow during that time I lost my only pair of shoes (not including thongs) I was keeping esp for the plane ride. I ended up taking my brother in laws O day freebies after an extensive search of both my sisters and my parents house. (including the wheelie bins as I was carrying things in plastic bags, could be mistaken for rubbish)
10kg of wholemeal wheat flour
a solar panel
at least 2 kg of honey
some breakfast cereal that was on special in Aus when I was packing, it cost $2, i saw the same thing for 5USD in the supermarket in Cambodia
a loaf of saltana bread
a Christmas cake (homemade)
a bike helmet
Ironically this last trip back from Australia I actually had baggage weight to spare! It felt a bit wasteful and frustrating in some ways, given that other times I'd made the trip I'd had to get rid of so much. But it was fun to bring back some treats and useful things that are harder/more expensive to find here.
At the end of 2012 we moved back to Cambodia after 2 years in Australia. It was hard getting 2 years of life back down to 20kg. Sad to leave behind the new bed sheets we had, and pretty much all of my clothes as I was pregnant so they were going to be any use anytime soon.
It had to be 20 kg not only for the place ride back but for all the travelling in Aus on public transport I was doing before I actually got to the plane. My pregnant self had to be able to carry everything between stops and stations and on and off vehicles.
I think I stayed in at least 3 different towns before and caught quite a few buses, planes and trains before I hauled my bag to the international airport. Somehow during that time I lost my only pair of shoes (not including thongs) I was keeping esp for the plane ride. I ended up taking my brother in laws O day freebies after an extensive search of both my sisters and my parents house. (including the wheelie bins as I was carrying things in plastic bags, could be mistaken for rubbish)
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